Nonsense Poems by Category

Immerse yourself in the surreal brilliance of Max Scratchmann's contemporary nonsense verse and keep your fingers crossed that his literary fantasies don't become reality. I've made a valiant attempt at shepherding some of the nonsense poems into loose categories such as love, death, sex. The poems that defied classification were then split into two groups, pure nonsense verse for the clean poems and rude rhymes for the dirtier or more disturbing poetry. However, as the site is intended for teenagers and adults, there are dirty poems spread throughout the collection, so the usual warnings about unsuitability for immature goats and hypersensitive adults apply.

Pure Nonsense Verse

Just when you though it was safe to proceed, the collection takes a sharp left and veers headlong into a selection of nonsense verse. Not all readers of funny poetry are lovers of nonsense verse, but Max is a master of the art of nonsense poetry and by skipping these poems you'll miss some of Max's funniest and most insightful work.

Bad Children and Cautionary Verse

A selection of cautionary verse in the traditional Hoffman style. The misdeeds of the children are certainly much worse than you'd encounter today and their fate's more gruesome, but this is nonsense verse after all.

Medical Poems

The funny medical poetry includes conventional humorous poems, nonsense verse and odd very odd poem. The poems encompass an eclectic selection of medical conditions, from priapism to OCD.

Poems about Death

An eclectic collection of funny poems and nonsense verse about death, decay and putrefaction, which includes epitaphs, posthumous epistles and an unusual penta-limerick.

Love Songs

The Love Songs includes languid love poems in ballad form, literary parodies and nonsense verse on a romantic theme. Some of the poems are funny, others obliquely humorous or deliberately obtuse. If you read a Love Song and feel you may have missed the point, rest assured that you are not alone.

Rude Rhymes

If you need to be told what the rude rhymes might comprise, you probably shouldn't be reading them. For seasoned Peculiar Poetry readers, Max's rude rhymes are on a par with Patrick's rude poems and much less rude than Paul's dirty poems, but all the usual health/age/profanity warnings apply.

Poems about Sex

Nonsense verse on a sexual theme, which covers anything and everything from gastro-porn to a little light bondage. The combination of the conventions of nonsense verse and the unconventionality of the sex acts depicted may be unsettling initially, but the poems are highly original and genuinely funny.