Perverse Verse - Nonsense Sex Poems

There are saucy sex poems, and sexually graphic dirty poems, but nonsense sex poems are like nothing else. Combining traditional elements of nonsense verse with the salacious, the sexual, the pornographic and the perverse, they challenge you to loose your inhibitions and laugh your pants off, metaphorically, literally or perhaps even metaphysically.

Three Traditional Tales About Sex

A series of three sexually themed poems to introduce us to the collections loosely described as perverse verse.

Hundred Pound Knickers

A poem which is at heart a moral tale about the power of luxurious lingerie to attract men.

A Lunar Cycle is NOT a Moon Bike

A very strange poem about an unlikely union between a female punk (punkette? punkess?) and a virile young man with a blood lust.

Sperm Bank Baby

Sex at arms length might be an apt description of the process of conception by artificial insemination. Most writing on the subject focuses on turkey basters and gay friends lending a helping hand, but Max's poem Sperm Bank Baby about AI by donor is both funny and touching.

Gastro Porn

While gastro porn traditionally consists of oggling tastefully photographed dishes prepared by top chefs, Max's poem is rather closer to the image that the phrase conjures up.


An encounter between a lusty milkmaid, a country gentleman and his wife in which sexual anticipation turns rapidly to disappointment.

Ties That Bind

As the late wisteria flourishes and garden doors need coats of green is an unlikely opening to a poem about bondage, but that's the nature of nonsense verse.

Pam Makes a Porno

The language of Max's poem about making a pornographic movie (or perhaps shooting a magazine) is sexual, but charmingly inoffensive.

The Vicar of Wakefield

When the opening line finishes with the phrase the Dog and Duck, you might think you heading for familiar dirty poetry territory, but Max's poem about a country vicar offers the odd twist along the way.

The Bawdy Ballad of the Teasle-Weasle

A tangled tale of love and lust involving a Dodo and a Teasle Weasle.

Male Order Bride

A rapid change in tone for a poem about a marriage of convenience which is suffused with pathos

Come Dancing

The poem shares it's title with a popular (populist?) reality TV program about ballroom dancing, but the innuendo of the title shouldn't escape you.