This is the story of Vanessa de Ranger,
Who got into a car and drove off with a stranger,
Who cut of her hands and cut off her feet,
And wrapped them is parcels so clean and so neat.
Then he sent them to a bishop, two priests and a pope,
And Vanessa's poor mother had quite given up hope,
Of ever seeing her daughter quite well and alive,
When a knock at the door made her think she'd survived.
But, alas, on the mat was a box with her head,
That looked at her sadly and tearfully said,
Oh Mum, I'm so sorry, I'm afraid I am dead,
For a sinister stranger has cut off my head.
And severed my hands and sliced off my feet,
And halved my poor torso right here in the street.
And the mother she sighed, and said to her teen,
Well, I can only hope that your undies were clean.
Copyright © Max Scratchmann. All Rights Reserved