Nonsense Poems About Death

Avoiding the mawkish or the unduly morbid, Max's nonsense poems tackle the subject of death head on, but with his characteristically oblique humour.

The Death of Mr Car Polish

The Death of Mr Car Polish is an unusual poem, but an entirely appropriate introduction to Max morbid poetry. The hero (and also the victim) of the piece is a obsessive polisher of his red Ford Fiesta who suffers a most bizarre accident.

Ibsen’s Ghosts

A poem to read and enjoy, or for those with aspirations to be a literary pathologist, to dissect at will.

Epitaph I & II

A couple of short, funny epitaphs about a couple of unusual, fictional characters.

Last Will and Testament

A posthumous message from the deceased about how he wishes to be treated in the hereafter, which is both funny haha and funny ba humbug.

Lizzie Lazarus

A whimsical poem about the eponymous heroine who refuses to stay dead.

The Death of John Keats (in Limericks)

A polylimerick written in the form of five limericks which describes the deathbed scene of John Keats as he pines for Fanny. Yes, it's innuendo laden and rude, but capitalisation is all.

Valhalla Ballads

Buries or burned? The choice is very much yours.

The Lewis Carroll Society

A comic confection about the nocturnal gatherings of the Lewis Carroll Society, which are rather less conventional than your average literary circle.

My Psychic Aunt

Tea leaves, tarot, palmistry… It's all a load of crystal balls!

The Nonsense Herbal

A comic poem on a culinary herbal theme, but if to persist to the end you discover the quite delicious aroma of death.

The Death of Barnabas McGhee

More pure unsense about a marriage mismatch and mortality.

Spirit Pictures

The relative's who populate Max's poem are dead, but not departed.

Fan Boy B-Movies

The excesses of the slasher genre of B-movie are laid bare.

Dead Men's Shoes

The afterlife of the humble shoe is brought vividly to life.

Lawnmower Men

Don't let the bastards grind you down!

Danse Macabre

The heroine is a wilful young girl, Angelina Semolina, who aspires to be a ballet dancer and won't let anyone come between her and her dreams.

Death in the Family

The protagonist gets her just desserts for her succession of murderous misdeeds.

The MURDER Alphabet

A strange poem which sees our twenty-five victims dispatched as easily as ABC.

Death is Not the End

A misanthropist's view of life and the afterlife.