Nonsense Verse

One of the great delights of nonsense poetry is that it is open to individual interpretation. However, it makes the editorial duty of writing introductions to someone else's poems a complete nightmare. It may very well turn out that I, as editor, Max, as author, and you, dear reader, have entirely different views as to a poem's meaning…  and all be wrong.

A Nonsense Confection

A perplexing poem on a minty theme, which appears entirely innocent, but is in reality quite naughty.

The Awful Story of Neville, the Depressive Blueberry

The author finds a depressed blueberry lurking in his cereal bowl at breakfast one morning.

Naked Breakfast

A proper nonsense poem, the giveaways being the nonsensical neologisms and the inexplicable appearance of a walrus.

Horace’s Fairy God Mother

A tangled tale about an unfortunate child, in which the deus ex machina fails to live up to fairytale expectations.

The Ballad of Chip and Pin

Those into their stride will not be surprised to discover that The Ballad of Chip and Pin is in no way related to credit credit card security technology, and perhaps be hugely relieved.

The Hungry Fish

A whimsical piece about a goldfish with a prodigious appetite.

The Tragic Passing of Undead Augustus

Augustus is a boy who simply wouldn't get out of bed.

Godfrey Gordon Gustavus Gore Again

An epic poem about some of the greats of the world of nonsense poetry. If that sounds overly self-referential, it probably is.

Song of the Radish

A sublimely ridiculous song in which the radish entices the listener When you want a salad just call on me,
Slice me and dice me, make me a flower.

The Jelly Baby’s Lament

I always considered that the decapitation and subsequent eating of jelly babies was one of the most unspeakable acts of the 21st century. Then I discovered that there was jelly baby porn…

Did I Say the Wrong Thing?

The anti-hero of the piece is the gloriously named and gloriously tactless Amanda Amelia McCutcheon Bombay, who can be guaranteed to say the wrong thing, to the wrong person, at just the wrong moment.

Verbal Diarrhoea

A constant stream of verbal ejaculations which cannot be stemmed threatens to drive everyone around the bend.

The Turtle and the Magimix

A poem whose title is decidedly more sinister than its content.

The Hunger

A rhyme about Geoffrey-Geoffrey Dinglyby-Smythe, whose gluttony proves to be his undoing.