The Filing Clerk’s Love Song

I love you more than tapioca and cream,
Rhubarb and custard, my sweet, my dream,
You are bourbon biscuits at eleven,
Hob-nobs by the fire, cornflakes at seven.

You are my suet dumpling and my cottage pie,
My spotted dick and custard, apple of my eye,
I would walk miles for you, give you my folder,
Cede my place at the copier, never grow older.

You are an extra helping of mashed potatoes at the canteen,
Brussels Sprouts on a Tuesday, silk to my sateen,
You are cream donuts on a rainy Friday,
Coke floats on holiday, larger on a dry day.

I bequeath you my Sellotape, paper clips and biro,
I’d give up my job for you, donate you my giro,
Please marry me and let’s have a life together by the sea,
Just three babes, two cats, one dog, and you and me.

A Office Romance

A romantic poem which follows a coherent narrative but is, none-the less, littered with nonsensical metaphors and verbiage.


Love Songs


Max Scratchmann

Copyright © Max Scratchmann. All Rights Reserved