The Bawdy Tale of Jasper Jasper

Jasper Jasper, garter grasper, chased a girl and tried to catch her,
Snapped her garter, got much harder, trapped her in the kitchen larder,
Won’t you marry, please don’t tarry, Jasper breathed into her ear,
Never ever, no not never, not the words he wants to hear!
Ran his hand into her knickers, come let’s play at tarts and vicars, Jasper begged on bended knee,
No, said Annie, off my fanny, you won’t jiggy-jig with me!

Jasper begged and Jasper pleaded, said it was just what he needed, but she stayed resolved and firm,
No out-putting, for your routing, so button up that trouser worm,
Go home Jasper, garter grasper, have your tea and go to bed,
Have a shower, at full power, straighten out your dirty head.
She doused his ardour, in that larder, sent him off like cheque to bank,
So our Jasper, garter grasper, went to bed but drew a blank.

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