Hungry Arthur

Arthur ate a toffee apple at the county show,
And a hot dog and a doughnut and two pounds of roe,
Some gingerbread and half a burger, and an ogo-pogo roll,
Fourteen hay bales, three new tractors, and a bag of smokeless coal.

His mother said, enough, me lad, cease this endless snacking,
Go and play computer games or learn the art of hacking,
But Arthur shrugged his podgy shoulders, ate a lobster pie,
And said, I'm happy in the tuck tent, Mum, I cannot tell a lie.

He ordered up a brace of pheasants and a whole roast boar,
Ate them up with bread and butter, called out more, more, more.
Ate a shark and ate a dolphin, ate a hump-backed whale,
Quaffed a Coke and downed a Pepsi and a mug of ale.

Tried to eat a rocky island, but ate a mountain first,
Had another, called for seconds, when suddenly he burst.

Eat, Drink and…

Arthur is both an omnivore and a polyvore, which doesn't make him any more endearing.


Cautionary Verse


Max Scratchmann

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