Joan and Dennis had a son, his name was Arthur Murray,
He boiled the cat and fried the bird and ate breakfast in a hurry.
At school he spat at poor Miss Frost and pulled the girls' pigtails,
And cooked the fish and burned his books and tortured all the males.
The teachers called his parents up and said, he is appalling,
We know, they said, it's not our fault, we find the bugger galling.
So Art grew up and went to bad and ended up in prison,
Where he peed upon the Jesus freaks, proclaiming, He is risen.
They took him out upon the hill and hung him from a tree,
And his mother sat and loudly wept, I hope you don't blame me.
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