Alice

This is the story of a girl called Alice,
Who lived in a duplex in Crystal Palace,
When sitting on her balcony, one sunny summer's day,
Was startled by the a yawing pit that swallowed her away.

And she woke up minutes later in a chequered latté shop,
With a muffin on the counter that said, please eat me, pop,
So she swallowed up the bakery and found herself all shrunk,
Why, that cake it has been doctored by some slimy little skunk.

Just then a private party came a-sauntering in the shop,
So Alice said, excuse me, can I join your little hop?
And a guy in silver skip cap, which cost him ten and six,
Said sure, my little kitten, come and give your man a fix.

But Alice slapped him soundly, said, I'm not your bloody cat,
And shouldn't it have a body and sit on its bloody mat?
Then the Red Queen and the Duchess sang a song that came from hockey,
Until the pair were eaten by a giant Jabberwocky,
And Alice told the March Hare as they tumbled down a pit,
I don't know what I've taken but it's bloody amazing shit.