Edward Lear Meets the Fluffadump

It was a dark and stormy night, the sun it shone quite brightly,
As the Fluffadump sped up the hill, it really was quite sprightly.
It came a upon a cottage quaint, that surely was quite dear,
And banged upon the rose-arched door, Oh where is Edward Lear?

The poet came and doffed his cap, said, How now, Fluffadump,
Come in, come in and have some tea, there's water at the pump!
The Fluffadump he stamped his feet, he ground his scaly tail,
You made me thus, you bastard, Lear, he did most loudly wail.

You dreamed me up my silly name, my cyan furry pelt,
My earrings bold, my rubber nose, my gleaming leather belt.
Oh it's hard to be a Fluffadump, living in the woods so dark,
When I want to be a handsome prince and go hunting in the park.

Good Lear he smiled and puffed his pipe, and tugged his long grey beard,
I must admit, he mused aloud, I've made you pretty weird.
So how about we lose the pelt, the four eyes, nose and ears,
And make you now that handsome prince while we two drink some beers?

The prince said, Lear, I am amazed at my valiant locks so fair,
My freckled skin and wide blue eyes, my gleaming auburn hair,
But really I must lose the wings if I'm to pull some birds!
Some birds? cried Lear, You can't do that, that's patently absurd.

You are a beast of children's verse, a figure just of fun,
You cannot go out on the pull, when all is said and done,
Go sit upon the Pancake Rock and play your small guitar…
But the Fluffadump shot Edward Lear then sold his house and car.

Edward Lear is chased by the fluffadump