Aunty Doris is dead, so why’s she in our picture?
Dead folks are dead, not living, that is the natural stricture.
But every time I snap a shot, Doris, up she pops,
Wearing that awful beanie hat, I'm going to call the cops.
Listen here, officer, you're not doing your job,
Please patrol the graveyard to stop that whole damn mob,
Of deceased and long-dead relatives, streaming from their tombs,
And spoiling all the photographs in living people's rooms.
The Copper said, Look 'ere, me lad, there's nuffink we can do,
The dead are not our problem, we leave all that to you,
So every time I take a snap, I look not once but twice,
To make sure Doris isn't there, she really isn't nice.
And to all other living people, who listen to this song,
If you think the dead are really dead, you're well and truly wrong.
Copyright © Max Scratchmann. All Rights Reserved