I sell dildos by the dozen and clit ticklers by the score,
Plastic cocks and Barbie socks, but have no-one to adore.
My fanny's toned and tickled, by toys and creams and aids,
But what's the point of toning if you only see French Maids?
I watch porno videos daily and orgasm while I pee,
But it's such a drag, an empty shag, when there's no-one there but me.
So I'm packing up my sample case, checking in my rampant rabbit,
And I'm off to find my true love, I'll search until I'm wabbit.
No more with saucy playing cards or butt-plugs will I tarry,
I'm off to find my true love, the man I'm going to marry.
Copyright © Max Scratchmann. All Rights Reserved