Undead Augustus

There once lived a boy called Augustus the Undead,
Who wouldn't get up and just lay in his bed,
He slept all the day and he slept all the night,
A disgrace to his father, to his mother a blight.

One morn they decided to open his curtains,
The sunshine would surely him out for a Burton,
But Augustus had nailed them tightly shut tight,
So the light in his bedroom was always like night.

So they opened his door and wheeled out his bed,
Though Augustus lay dormant, as if he was dead,
And they pushed his still body to the sunshine so bright,
And said, look, this is daylight, the flip-side of night.

But he went all a quiver and turned into ash,
And his mother said, blimey, that’s settled his hash!

Lazy Lie Abed

Augustus suffers from a condition a degree worse than narcolepsy.


Nonsense Verse


Max Scratchmann

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