The Pissed Newt

A well-inebriated gentle Newt was staggering down the road,
When in the dark he tripped and fell o'er an inebriated Toad,
 “What are you who bars my way, fess up, you rancid skunk?”
The Toad he burped and did reply, “Alas, my friend, I'm drunk!”

“Now hold on just a second, I fear I must protest,
I am the Newt and you're the Toad, just get out of my nest,
There is no phrase in English Lit that says pissed as a Toad,
So kindly gather all your shit and get up off my road!”

The Toad he blinked a gimlet eye, he said, “I'll have to think,
But while we ponder where and why, why don't we have a drink?”
And thus we leave them, arm and arm, two brothers soaked in wine,
And should someone say “Pissed as a Toad” it suits them both just fine.


Drunken discussions about etymology make for a surprisingly light and amusing poem.


Nonsense Verse


Max Scratchmann

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