The True Story of Little Red Riding Hood

Little Red Riding Hood, out doing good,
Met with a wolf in the depths of the wood,
Hello Mister Wolverine, my what teeth you've got,
To dice and slice like scalpels, but really twice as hot.

Come, come, Red Riding Hood, take me to your bower,
Entice me with your red cape, put me in your power,
Feed to me grape jelly and Melton Mowbray pie,
Entwine my rich and thick pelt, make me want to die!

No, no, my hairy man, lock up that sticky zipper,
The grapes are all for Grandma, there'll be no chicken dipper,
The wolf takes out his chopper, then I'll cut you in two,
Poor Little Riding Hood, doesn't know what to do.

When up comes a woodsman, macho, big and burly,
I'll save you Red Riding Hood and take you back to Purley!
Whoa there, woodboy, come down off your roof,
Head back to suburbia, I'm staying with the wolf!